FAITH NO MORE
Texas Stadium, Dallas
Saturday, September 8
Words Chris Watts
Photos Mark Leialoha
FROM THE side of the stage you can smell Faith No More. You can smell the heat and sweat, and it's only 4pm. When the sunshine hits this enormous stage the temperature peaks at around 115 degrees. As an alternative venue with similar conditions on every level, Faith No More could just as well be playing in Hell.
It is not the ideal environment. In fact, it is positively ridiculous. 50,000 redneck juveniles are here to worship Axl, and Faith No More are a mere irritation at best. The stadium is still filling up as Patton leaves the stage in chaos amidst the dying blast of 'Epic'
Some of the assholes are jeering. Almost all are sitting down. Faith No More can claim it as a success.
Mike Patton remembers the girl down the front. She's right there, squashed against the security railings, giving Patton the personal thumbs-down. She laughs sarcastically when he crashes to the floor just inches from her enormous tits during 'Caffeine' Patton has seen her and plays the screeching spaz delinquent exclusively for the dumb bimbo.
"Wasn't she great?" he later comments.
"Those are the people this band wants to piss off!"
Middle America doesn't hate Faith No More so much as simply not understand them.
These days, the Metallica and Guns N' Roses audiences are virtually identical, and despite the fact that Kirk Hammett stands just out of sight behind Mike Bordin's drumkit during 'Midlife Crisis' and the hideous 'R.V.', this crowd will never comprehend the connection.
They look at Jim Martin and see a geeky, cartoon hero in a Stetson and shorts. They don't understand that this is Jim's sole reason for being here.
Faith No More are a blot on the landscape for this crowd. 'We Care A Lot' hits the first eight rows hard, but the momentum of this great song doesn't reach much further. It is only really the MTV-rotated 'Epic' which gets a reaction, and only then because it's familiar.
Typically, Patton drags the song into farce. He sings most of it whilst lying on his back under a vocal monitor, capping the performance by tumbling Bill Gould's bass amps. It's rubbish, absolute shit, but Faith No More make their point.
The whole tour is a farce. Faith No More have been here to lend at least a vestige of credibility to both Metallica and Guns N' Roses. Faith No More have enjoyed and manipulated the farce at the expense of the assholes. That in itself has been worth 30 bucks.
Comments